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People in long-term relationships who are most satisfied with their partners report that they still feel passion for their partners-they still want to be around them as much as possible, and they enjoy making love with them (Simpson, 1987 Sprecher, 2006). And they report that the more they love their partners, the more attractive they find them (Simpson, Gangestad, & Lerma, 1990). On the other hand, the high levels of passionate love that are experienced in initial encounters are not likely to be maintained throughout the course of a long-term relationship (Acker & Davis, 1992). For example, recall our chapter case study about Frank and Anita Milford’s 80-year marriage the couple said that “We do everything together even after nearly 80 years.”īut what about passion? Does it still matter over time? Yes and no. Proximity also remains important-relationships that undergo the strain of the partners being apart from each other for very long are more at risk for breakup. However, some demographic factors like education and income similarity seem to relate less to satisfaction in same-sex partnerships than they do in opposite sex ones (Todosijevic, Rothblum, & Solomon, 2005).
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Some aspects of similarity, including that in terms of positive and negative affectivity, have also been linked to relationship satisfaction in same-sex marriages (Todosijevic, Rothblum, & Solomon, 2005). Both actual and assumed similarity between partners tend to grow in long-term relationships and are related to satisfaction in opposite-sex marriages (Schul & Vinokur, 2000). Relationships are also more satisfactory and more likely to continue when the individuals develop and maintain similar interests and continue to share their important values and beliefs over time (Davis & Rusbult, 2001). For instance, regardless of how long they have been together, people remain interested in the physical attractiveness of their partners, although it is relatively less important than for initial encounters. The factors that keep people liking and loving each other in long-term relationships are at least in part the same as the factors that lead to initial attraction. Yet the principles of social psychology can still be applied to help us understand what makes these relationships last. When good friendships develop, when people get married and plan to spend the rest of their lives together, and when families grow closer over time, the relationships take on new dimensions and must be understood in somewhat different ways. But the basic principles of social psychology can also be applied to help us understand relationships that last longer. To this point in the chapter, we have focused upon the attraction that occurs between people who are initially getting to know one another.
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Explore Sternberg’s triangular model of love.Distinguish between communal and exchange relationships.Outline the factors that define close relationships.